Perfect Plans

 

It’s not surprising that through Jonah’s story God has revealed something mind-blowing to me once again. After all it’s how God drew me closer to Him the first time.

There was a year long class at our church that I went through several years ago, actually the time I’m referring to was the second time I had attempted to take the study. My first attempt was cut short due to me dropping out because of a life changing trial God had allowed in my path, that I was so running from. I ran for two years until reality wouldn’t allow me to run anymore. At the time when it all hit the fan, I saw my involvement in this study to be hard but just what I needed to keep my mind focused. I would love to say it was to keep my mind focused on God, but to be honest I was trying to keep my mind off the way my life was spiraling down a big ‘ol toilet bowl. During my time in the study, God refined me in so many ways; one step at a time. It was a process to say the least and took some time. Through this study I would encounter and learn a lot about Jonah, God and most of all about myself, as God sees me. I went into the class broken, unsure of who I was, who I had been or would one day be. It was a dark desperate time. Just like being on a ship in the middle of the storm riddled sea and I had a choice to make. Although our trek through Jonah was only a few weeks long in the grand scheme of the class, God revealed to me in so many ways I was just like Jonah. As the class progressed past Jonah into doctrine and disciplines, everything seemed to point me back to parts of Jonah.  At that time I had no idea what or where my Nineveh was, but I was completely sure I didn’t like the journey God had me on in that moment. I felt it unnecessary and not in the best interest for myself or my kids. It was unfair, and in my eyes an all around stupid idea. I wasn’t technically running away like Jonah did but I was most definitely refusing to move forward. I dug in my heels and couldn’t believe or wrap my mind around why God would allow these things that seemed to cause me so much pain. I did find some peace in Jonahs story though and saw myself in Jonahs shoes more than once. It was like through His word, God was giving me a mirror to look into. I didn’t understand why He would call me to lose something I thought was good and necessary in my life. Why He would send me wondering through wilderness to a place where I may never see the fruit of my labor but eventually I gave in and decided if I can’t run from Him, I might as well see what His plan is about. It wasn’t long after that I found myself kicked back, sunglasses on the end of my nose, sipping sweet tea waiting to see Gods wrath be inflicted on all those in question. I was then disappointed when He didn’t strike them down publicly for my enjoyment and resolution. I felt He at least owed it to me to let me watch them get punished for all there sin and free me from the bondage of the pain their sin had inflicted.  Oh in so many ways I identified with Jonah. Some I understood and some scared the daylights out of me.

I have come a long way in my walk since I graduated that class the first time, I came out of the class knowing who I had been, who I was and would always be…..Gods!!!! I had found my identity in Christ, God healed wounds I thought I would carry forever, gave me peace and a confidence to push forward no matter the valley because as long as I have God, I have all I need. Not to long ago I began my third go at this year long discipleship class, I have known for a couple years that I needed to pursue the class again. God refined me in so many ways and called me closer to Him through the weekly teachings in the class. He opened my heart and mind and made a bunch of words on a page come to life……giving me new life. I also knew how severe  the broken state I was in and the cave of bondage God had given me the strength to release myself from. I knew my entire time in the class was my time in the belly of my own great fish. A fish God had created and sent my way at just the right time, for the work He had planned long before He called me and I set sail for my Tarshish. I wanted to go into this class now with a new mind and a new heart, because I knew there was so many things God couldn’t teach me the first time around. I wasn’t ready, it was time, you gotta take one step at a time. I’m in a place now in my life I know with all I am, no matter where God calls me, I must go….even if I don’t see the purpose or the good in it. I trust God is in control and leading me to live my best life for His glory.

As we went through Jonah, I was able to see the story through new eyes. I see how God called Jonah because He needed Jonah run, so He could teach me I was running too.  Where I still identify with Jonah, I see the story now in its completion and I am able to pull out details I missed the first time around. Where the first time I was so focused on figuring out how to make God see my side. Now I am figuring out that even though it was hard and not the path Jonah nor myself would have chosen, it was all necessary and what was best for our lives in the long run.  I don’t believe Jonahs call to Nineveh was to solely save Nineveh or to end the vile things that happened inside those walls. Instead I see Jonahs calling to be an opportunity for Jonah to be refined, for Jonah to realize in all the ways he said he served God unconditionally and he put nothing above God……. He did!! Jonah was willing to do what God called him to do as long as Jonah felt it was fair, it didn’t cost him too much, it lined up with Jonahs vision of who God was or who Jonah thought was worth saving. Jonah as well as myself had some stuff buried deep inside us we needed to own before we could truly have a relationship with God and do His full work.  With this in mind I look at the fact that before Jonah was called to Nineveh, God created and allowed Nineveh to be such a horrific place that innocents within the city would cry out to Him for its destruction. Nineveh was a sinful place, with all kinds of immoral behavior, human sacrifice, slavery, and worshipping of gods and idols. God created these people, He is the creator of all!!! God allowed sin to ravage this city, without it where would He call Jonah to???? More importantly, if not for what Nineveh was would Jonah have ran? So before Jonah was even called a complete city, its inhabitants and all that lead to Nineveh being the city it was……was formed.  Before Jonah was called a group of sailors were set on a ship to be docked in Joppa headed to the other side of the world just when Jonah needed a ride. A group of sailors who would cast lots and single Jonah out, so Jonah would be thrown into the sea to be shallowed by a great fish. A great fish that God created for Jonah and set in motion to travel away from its normal path right to the place Jonah would be in, the moment he hit the sea.

Everything that happens in Jonahs story isn’t because he ran, God wasn’t playing it by ear. God wasn’t setting things up as the story progressed, throwing solutions at Jonah, He had gone before Jonah…way before Jonah. God had created a civilization and allowed them to form a belief system that would span over generations, He created and called a great fish to deviate from its path for His purpose, He created sailors so their lives would bring them to Joppa headed for Tarshish at just the right time. He created Jonah and called him many times before, He knew Jonahs heart as He called him to Nineveh….He always knew Jonah would run. Seeing all this in Jonah, I know God always knew I would run too, He had always gone before me and made a way, not clear a path, but made a way!! You see when all the pieces seem to be falling together, I know now its because the Master Creator has been putting the pieces together long before my piece ever came out of the box.

Maybe God created Jonah to run to teach me not to. Maybe the great fish was created to show me that even when I run as far as I can from God, He will always provide me a place of safety, where I can close the world out and find Him once again. Maybe the sailors were created to remind me that there will always be someone or way to help me run from Him and even though the lot is cast, He is always in control.

Maybe God allowed Eve to eat the fruit so Nineveh could be born, Jonah could be called, and God could show me I need to quit running!!!!