If You Love Something Let It Go!

If you love something let it go, if it returns to you its yours….if it doesn’t it never was.

In my life I have heard this said time and time again, and have always believed it to be true. It makes sense and its words have been put to the test before in my life and have always returned true. There are times things have returned to me and others where I have been left standing alone… wanting. All this time I never knew that I was looking at the wrong side of this saying, you see I have always focused on the Letting Go, Returning, or not returning in some cases, but my attention should have been somewhere else… there was something more important lying in those words I had not yet grown to fully know the gravity of.

For so long I let things “Go” in hopes of their return because it was what my heart desired, what I needed for what ever reason it made my life easier, happier, or more purposeful. I didn’t let go because I loved them soooo deeply but because I wanted them, I chose them, it made sense in my life, it served a purpose of some sort. Although I wasnt looking to learn anything new in my life about love and letting go, God had a different idea and although I didn’t know it at the time it started with a two-hour drive not even a week ago. God put this wheel in motion months ago as he blessed my oldest son with the opportunity to attend Marion Military Institute and play baseball at the collegiate level. It has been months since his commitment and we have had plenty of time to prepare for his departure into the world… not under my roof. I made it through his senior year with minimal tears because what was there really to be sad about, his dream of college and baseball was coming true; this had been what all the blood, sweat and tears were for all these years; this wasnt the end but a great beginning to a new season of life.  I knew I would miss him like crazy, he is my baby and we are extremely close. We have walked through fire together several times and put out each others flames more than once. We all knew it would be an adjustment, it wasnt going to be easy but I never knew my heart could ache like it has. My heart doesn’t ache because he left, nor because I fear he may never come back. My heart aches because I realize I completed my part of the job God gave me almost 19 years ago, and  I cherish so many moments of raising that little boy into a man. Now, in this season, I am but a spectator in the life I created… just waiting and watching to see the choices that will be made.  Nineteen years ago God allowed me to be apart of one of the greatest things He does…….Creation. He allowed me and blessed me to be apart of creating a wonderful little blue-eyed boy who changed everything I was and wanted to be. He allowed me to have this boy as my own to raise, to love, to fear for, to ache for, to shelter, to sacrifice for, to be responsible for and so much more. I have watched him grow, taught him, offered him a straight path, bandaged his wounds, gave him truth, love, mercy, and discipline. Through all of it, I never fully saw what God was showing me daily through His gift of motherhood.

He was showing me Himself….

God gives us life, He raises us, He is right there as we grow and mature,  He teaches us, offers us a straight path, makes good of our wounds, gives us truth, love, mercy, discipline when our choices are leading to our destruction, He sacrificed Himself for us. God has and will do for me everything I have and will do for my sons. As I left my first-born at college proud of the young man he is and the man he will become, my heart aches horribly still; as I belive Gods heart aches also for us, His creation, His children as He releases us into a world full of choices.

“If you Love something, let it go… if it returns it is yours, if it doesn’t it never was”

As we know we are His, every one of us!!! So just because you love something doesn’t mean it will be with you forever and if after letting it go shall it not return to you doesn’t make you any less the owner of it, it simply means it chose a path other than the one you laid your life down for.

Although the ache and longing I have felt as I have opened the door to my child’s future, watching as he walks through it, knowing I can’t follow has been great. I know with confidence I have given him all he needs to navigate this life. Knowing if he keeps me and all I have taught him of Truth, Love, Faith, and Mercy close to his heart his path will lead him straight back to me. I can’t help but feel blessed to be able to share this moment with God and get to experience who our Good Good Father is and the ache and longing He feels for us each and every day waiting for us to return to Him, to call on Him or just spend some time with Him in prayer.

I never knew how deep love was until I had to let go and fully trust my son in the hands of the One who gave him to me….his Father.  What ever happens and where ever he goes from here, I know he is in good hands, and as he keeps God and all the Word teaches him of Truth, Love, Faith and Mercy close to his heart, I know his path will always lead him Home!!