Forgiveness it is one of the biggest things we are called to do. It can be the easiest or the most difficult thing we encounter in our walk with God. Forgiveness comes easy when someone is truly remorseful for their actions, when they say they are sorry and turn from the ways that hurt you. Then there is that “repeat offender” those who time and time again display a self centeredness, such a prideful spirit that you know they MUST know how their actions affect others and they just don’t care, or are they REALLY that oblivious to the damage the wake of their actions cause. Most of us avoid these type of people, those wolves in sheep’s clothing, then there are those few you are bound to, you can’t shake’em, you can’t change them, they just keep infesting your life with their chaos like unwanted rodents. Everything seems in order and clean but lurking in the shadows lies a war, an infestation waiting for the moment to scamper out of its hiding place, capture its goal, feed on the unsuspecting and return into the darkness.
I have come to a crossroads, a place where the only answers lie with God, where you are called to forgive when there is no remorse and the jabs continue to come, even if no one else sees them. I have forgiven for the pain of the past and have a peace about it that I know only comes from God. I have come to see what holding bitterness and anger changes you into and that is a person I never want to be again. Looking back I can see the darkness and evil that surrounded me, blinded me to the reality of a situation, how it changed my perception of what was real and true. All the ways bitterness was self-serving and unholy, and because of it and the walls it built within me I could not hear Gods voice clearly. God couldn’t reveal to me all that I asked in prayer because I leaned more on the understanding and justification of my bitterness and anger then I did on forgiving , following Christ’s example and allowing God to work all things.
So, like me, you are through the initial stages and you have turned the other cheek time and time and time again. You have fought for, protected, helped, dug out, gave second, third ,tenth chances but when is enough…..ENOUGH!!!!! What do you do when you have prayed relentlessly for years for a change in a person? Also those times when it really gets bad you pray for God to remove them from your life and any way they are connected to you. I can say one of the greatest gifts God has given me was to be able to see bitterness creeping into my mind and my heart, to recognize the darkness that comes with it and how one tiny bit can derail who God has created me to be and what He has positioned me to stand against. To forgive you must kill the bitterness and anger breeding inside of you and that my friend is a daily battle! I have come to learn that sometimes God doesn’t change the hearts of those around us, those hard people we can’t shake, because there is something more important that needs to be changed within ourselves or because you may be the only one willing to bring light in that persons dark world.
Forgiveness is hard, especially when it is not deserved or when you no longer feel sorry for the position someone has gotten themselves into. I ask you to forgive anyway, turn the other cheek again and don’t allow bitterness consume you, because it can and will turn you from the One who can sustain you through all things. There is a peace that comes with answering the call of forgiveness, it is one you are most definitely going to have to pursue daily but what you gain is so much more valuable than airing someones dirty laundry or justifying the hardship or pain they inflicted upon you. If you constantly pursue to eliminate the bitterness and anger within you, you will be able to hear Gods voice more clearly when He asks you to be still and turn the other cheek, to lean on Him and allow Him to change you and your world for the better and you will find the peace you’ve been searching for!
Lord, give me the strength daily to look past myself and look to You. Remind me of the grace you have shown me and how I must show the same grace to others daily. Let me see bitterness creeping into my heart and allow You to give me the peace in any situation that only you can. Lord change in me all that breaks your heart, mold me into the woman You have called me to be. Thank You Father for your love, mercy and grace.
Amen
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