In a Dream

 Last night I had a dream one that was disturbing and terrifying in many ways, yet enlightening, surreal and it enabled me to embody feelings and emotions so many fellow followers of Christ live everyday. The way God uses the people in your life, the things you hear, things you experience and even a Wednesday night bible study continues to put me in awe of His might and wonder.  I sat through a awesome beginning study of 2 Timothy, discussing Paul and his journey to the point where 2 Timothy was written, the Great Fire, Emperor Nero, and the days spent and conditions of Pauls time in Mamertine Prison. I came out holding a great message, a reassurance in many aspects of the season I am currently in…I understood the message…or did I…

On so many levels I did but they are earthly levels, things I am meant to be able to grab a hold of and wrap my mind around, things that make sense in my own little personal world. Things that fit into my box, my life, my circumstances. Things God allows me to understand within the realm in which I live…this earthly realm.  I want to embody who Paul was in Christ, I want that courage, that understanding, that faith, that peace, I want to live in the realm that “to live is Christ and to die is gain”. I want to answer the call given to every believer to not quit on your faith no matter how ugly everything around you gets, no matter the persecution that will come, no matter the stones that will be thrown, no matter who leaves you for dead or how many times, no matter the darkness you are forced to endure, nor the death you will face, Be Courageous, Stand Firm, Don’t Waver, because to Live is Christ but to Die is Gain.

Most of us, including me thinks that we are standing for our faith, living for Christ, and for the most part we are …. within our box. You see they took prayer out of schools but we pray anyway, we meet at a flag pole from time to time (yep, we’re WINNING). We talk about God openly and freely and what He has done in our lives, we post scripture on our social media and are able to attend church as we please without worry of any bodily harm being inflicted on us (we call it sharing the Gospel, being a Christian).  We are persecuted daily (by eye rolling and the “not this Jesus crap again” look) by family members, friends and those we encounter in our everyday lives. There are times we are looked at as Bible tote’in fruit loops, that are a little off in the head because we believe the impossible and trust in the unseen. You see all this is real and valuable, it has a purpose but it is not the kind of faith Paul was talking about. I came out of study last night feeling good, not going to give up when my circumstances are uncomfortable, stand a little taller, live a little bolder, have a little more faith.  But then I had a dream and I am ashamed of all I take for granted.

I can pray wherever, whenever and around whoever I want (freedom of speech) but I don’t.

I can take, read, own, open, and share my Bible and the Word of God anywhere, openly without fear of death, but I don’t.

So many times I could have spoke life, shared hope, or given more than I had to, but I didn’t…. because they might roll there eyes or get frustrated with me.

I have spent hours in the Bible Bookstore looking for and will pay out the ears for a “pretty” Bible (like I’m shopping for shoes), when there are those who would literally risk their lives to hold the Word of God within their hands because they TRULY believe and know it is Alive and Active. I have 6 within the four walls of my house and talk about with fellow believers regularly how hard it is to “find time” to open one of them EVERYDAY!

I could go on but hopefully you get my point we have so much freedom to share Gods word and to speak of His grace. You and I don’t live in the fear of someone coming in our home and slaughtering our household because we call Jesus our Lord and Savior. We do not fear death because we own a Bible. We do not have to pray, worship, and share the Gospel in secret for fear of being put to death, yet so many of us stay in the shadows and fly under the radar when it comes to our faith. We only worship, praise and share the Grace of Christ in the shadows and safety of those who believe as we do, we refrain from “to Live is Christ” for fear of eye rolling and in our minds “persecution” from our peers.

In my dream I saw death coming like Paul did, as it drew closer I saw more of Gods grace and His glory than I could even explain. I saw and watched a boldness in His people that had no fear of death approaching them, in fact they called out to it without fear because they embodied and held tight with both hands “To Live is Christ and to Die is Gain”. I watched as the heavenly realm interceded changing lives that were reluctant to come to Christ because it would mean their death, yet they fell to their knees when only moments before they were apart of the group who wanted to bring death to all those who follow Christ.

When I woke everything I saw and felt was still with me, I got up and went to my front door and stood there. Inside me were the feelings so many followers of Christ live everyday. I felt what it was like to know when I opened that door it could be the last because I follow Christ, I own a Bible, I pray, because I believe Jesus is the Son of God. I felt the weight of knowing that what I believe and who I believe in could cost the life of my children. I felt the danger of being a Christian, the struggle between my fearful self preserving flesh and the grace of my Savior Christ Jesus. I felt what it was like to fear for my life for no other reason besides my faith. I felt the pull of the choice. The shear weight of the choice. The free will of the choice. The choice of death in the earthly realm or death in the spiritual realm.

I don’t have to experience that everyday in that magnitude, nor do I have to make choices about my faith and the way I share it, with death always looming at my door, like so many others do. Yet I have a mile long list of reasons why I can’t share my faith, read my Bible, or defend the man that died for me. I guess the point I am wanting to make and the thing I want to change most in myself is to no longer neglect what has been given to me in Christ and to no longer cripple my walk for fear of rejection, when it comes to sharing the Gospel and my Savior face to face. To no longer allow the display of my faith be a nothing more than a social media plug but to walk where so many wish they could, where I can. I have a freedom so many don’t and won’t ever get to experience in making Him known, in sharing His grace, telling of His mercy, and speaking of His love. I don’t want to ever forget how lucky I am to be able pray when and where I want, to own and carry my Bible anywhere I please, to stand in the middle of any arena, lift my hands and praise the Lord with only the fear of eye rolling and being called a Jesus freak!  I don’t want to forget the riches I have been given to attend any church I please openly, to gather with other believers openly. To stand and say I believe in Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, Son of God, died and rose again, the one who saved me from my sin and by His sacrifice has carried me to my Father so I can gain more than I could ever deserve.

You and I have a freedom and we are wasting it!!

Don’t ever forget how lucky you are to open up a door everyday to a world who will only roll its eyes at you because of your faith, so many don’t have that freedom yet they open that door and face the world with Bible in hand and Christ on their lips.